Adult Bullies

In the recent months or years or somewhere in between (I suck at remembering time), the internet (and probably TV too, but I don't have one so I wouldn't know) has been filled with people, videos and messages asking to make bullying stop and to encourage kids who get bullied that one day it'll get better.  I think this is a wonderful thing, obviously, but an experience recently got me thinking about how often childhood bullies never grow out of their hate.

The other day I went out to dinner with my husband and our friends Tyler and Travis.

Here we are!

Tyler

Yours Truly

Travis

Macy, my awesome husband

As we were walking toward the restaurant on a pretty busy intersection right next to us a truck full of men screamed "You fucking emo f*ggots, go kill yourself."   I think I flipped them off, but more or less I was just amused because I had no idea people really did that.  Macy has had his fair share of people picking at him because he's pretty feminine. He wears tight jeans, used to wear eyeshadow, always has wild clothes on... but I've never really experienced that to myself or anyone around me.  We all laughed it off. First, we all love life, so the whole emo thing is ridiculous. But we didn't dwell on it. We enjoyed our dinner and then moved on.  

Well, yesterday it popped back into my head again.  And I got to thinking... What the hell would happen if each of us weren't a strong, happy person?  Just a few years ago, I was not in a good place.  And coming out honestly about my past (although hard) I think really needs to happen in order to make this blog matter-- I have tried to kill myself in the past. I used to be a cutter.  And even though I'm happy and I don't cut now, how incredibly awful is it that someone would suggest to ANYONE ever that they should kill themselves? Especially someone you don't even know?  Getting past the pain I held onto was difficult and in that time in my life if someone had expressed that much hatred toward me on top of the hatred I already had toward myself, I know for a fact I would have cut myself over it. I'm stronger now, but not everyone is.  

I started to get angry about this, but not because it had hurt me... but because it COULD HAVE hurt someone else.  I don't know how old those guys were, but they were adults.  They should have known better and yet they literally HATED the way my group of friends looked enough to yell at them that it would be better for them to end their life.  SERIOUSLY?   

Simply saying people need to learn to think before they act is an understatement.  As children we're insecure. We have pressure from society and friends to think and behave a certain way.  We act out based off situations happening around us. We're more easily influenced by other people, television shows, video games, etc. These are absolutely NOT excuses for children to become bullies, these are things we eventually should grow out of.  So why do adult bullies exist? Why would a grown man think it's okay to yell at someone he doesn't know to kill themselves? Why do adults commit hate crimes? What can we do to not just encourage bullied children that it will get better, but to encourage behavioral changes to those who choose to bully so they will grow out of it?  What can we do to teach young people love, acceptance and to just shut their mouths if they absolutely can't accept/love someone?

On that note, I want to leave you with a film that a facebook friend of mine created.  It's not about adult bullies, but is about anti-gay bullying in schools and definitely worth a watch.  Grab some tissues though, because I cried a little (I cry at everything though, so you might not need them).